I used to run up there on PerseveranceTrail when I lived in the apartment on top of Gold Street where it met Basin Road and all I had to do all day wasrun or walk for miles in the rainand try to think of nothing exceptfalse hellebore holding dropletson its pleated leaves in perfectviscous spheres. It was early in June. The only person I knew in the whole drenched townhad taught me that false hellebore was poisonous to humans. It causes the heart to slow, induces vertigo. I couldn’t stop picturing how it would feel to chewthe leaves to stringy pulp and watch the mountains go blurry and succumbto the mists that always enveloped them, until it was all dizzy and invisible, meand the narrow trail above the gorgethrough the illuminated valley. I wantedmy heart to go so slow no creature could discern its beating. Instead, I justkept running, tried to make it every dayall the way to the washout without stopping,ran faster so the hellebore becameso smeared and green in my peripheralvision it glowed. I hated having to liveevery moment in real time, alwaysseeing with utter clarity. I hated lettingevery single leaf of that abundantverdant poison go. Only the bears ate it.